God's point of view
Oh dear. How I hate the little 'meet-and-greet' sessions old Pete insists I put on. Thank all that's good that they're only for one out of a thousand new souls... It's so dreary, meeting the newcomers, eyes still wide with wonder and the marvels of heaven. Nonetheless, it is nice to know what I made a place that has never yet failed to strike awe into those who arrive.

Saint Peter's POV
Whew. This time, I almost didn't find enough people impressed with heaven to fill the 0.1% quota I've put on myself.

God's POV
What makes it especially boring is explaining again and again to people, "Yes, you really did die and go to heaven," or, "No, this isn't some trick to lure you into Hell."

Saint Peter's POV
Most of the people I find are that ones that don't truly believe that they're dead yet. Oh good, here he comes. "Go right in, you'll find him if he hasn't left. Be quick though. He should be done soon, and then he'll clear out before you can say 'Deo'"

God's POV
Oh good, it's almost over. There's only an few that I still haven't met, then I'll be-- Oh bad. Oh bad, oh bad, oh bad. What's he doing here? I don't want the new guys to meet him... He insists on coming up here in his scary form. He just won't understand that goat hooves and goat horns just don't belong in Heaven. Or red skin... Oh no. He saw me.

Devil's POV
Where is he, dammit? I hope he didn't clear out like Saint Pete said he might have... Reminds me, I'll have to find some way to thank Pete. He could just have easily told God I was coming, and I wouldn't have a snowball's chance at home of finding him. Ah, there he is! Looks like he saw me first...

God's POV
"Why hello there, Light*! What brings you up here this time?" and why now? He's going to scare all the new souls, especially the ones who think this is a trick! I need to find a way to get him out of here! But I still need to greet the last few... "I'm a little busy right now. Is there any way I could persuade you to come again... some other time?" When I'm not greeting newcomers?!?

Devil's POV
#flinch# He knows I hate that name. That cursed nickname of a nickname that I didn't choose. He knows I hate it, but he calls me that every time--Every immortal, accursed time we come into contact!! Alright. Calm. I will not get upset in his house where he calls me LI--. I will ask him politely to not refer to me by that name, which I find irritating. "Please do not refer to me by that name. How many times have I told you to not call me that? I think i can say with a great deal of certainty that the number is somewhere overone thousand!!" Oops. Didn't quite come out politely. I'll have to start again. "No, I can't come some other time, because this can't wait to be addressed." And I'll start screaming if I hear you call me 'Light' again...

God's POV
Exactly one thousand. If he hadn't told me this time, I would have been one under, but he did. Might be wise to not tell him. "Come now, I told you to only come to me in the event of a full scale breakout, and judging by your condition, that hasn't happened. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can discuss it some other time" Emphasizing these last words with subtle nods to the souls around me, I willed him to understand what I've hinted at. Why does he hate that name so much?
Devil's POV
'In the event of a full scale breakout'? I can't even come to prevent one? "If what I came for isn't remedied, there will be a breakout. I'm taking preventative action, you ungrateful louse! It's just me and my demons that stop you and all of Heaven being overrun by the masses of evil that Pete turns away at the gates!" Dammit. There I go, shouting again.

God's POV
Oh dear. Maybe it's best if we go somewhere else, since he doesn't seem like he's going to leave anytime soon. "Perhaps we can settle this in another room? As you may have observed, I'm with a few guests right now.." Maybe now he would get it that he scares them...

Devil's POV
Ah. I see. He wanted to settle it later because he worried that I'll scare his stupid little friends. "Alright. Fine. Let's go somewhere else, where we can talk in private. I wouldn't want to frighten your 'guests'." At lease he's talking to me, even if I had to hold onto him like a terrier.

God's POV
He won't give up!! He dogged me the whole time since he showed up! He won't leave me alone, even to finish the greeting session that Pete arranged.

Devil's POV
Right. Now's the time to finish this. "I want recognition. I've guarded Hell even since you set up this little system and found you had bad apples to throw away. My demons and I have guarded those bad apples for thousands of years. What thanks do we get for this? Brush-offs when I try to talk to you, and vilification in that little book you have printed on Earth. I've had enough of it, and my demons will back me up if we stop work. If that happens, you won't be able to ignore us very much longer than the time for a spirit to get from Hell to Heaven. We don't want a lot, just a little glory, now and then." There. It's on the table. Truthfully, I wouldn't be sad to see this place go. Stuffy in a kind of light, open, airy way. But I don't want the evils souls I guard to do it. "I don't want a miracle or anything, like, 'The Devil's a great guy' written in stars across the night sky. A book in the Bible would be great! Anything you be better than being treated as the greatest evil ever to exist. A magazine in the bible would be good, even just a limerick that doesn't depict me like that!" Wow. He looks stunned. Maybe this'll shock him into action.

Robert Williams' POV
A revelation! I woke up this morning, and realized that the Bible everyone's been reading for thousands of years was wrong! The Devil isn't evil at all! He guards Hell and keeps the evil souls there from wreaking havoc on the world! I have to tell all my neighbors, the whole city, state, country, the entire WORLD about this! There should be a book in the bible, just about the devil, and how he has guarded us from the real evil in the universe!

Excerpt from the Danville Herald's obituary section
The body of Robert Williams was found today, hanging by his neck on a rope underneath a tree. After thorough investigation, the local police determined that no foul play was involved, and Mr. Williams was merely trying to make a tire swing for local children, and accidentally got his head stuck in a loop, then fell and strangled to death.